Emergence
by Danica77
Summary: Sequel to Cocoon. Can Ashley make it as an old lady if she's not willing to compromise herself? Can Jax be president material and keep a serious relationship at the same time? A little more action in this one.
1. Chapter 1

*****Thanks for following over to this story, hope you like it...review if you can!...I don't own anything SOA***  
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Chapter 1

Jax sat on top of the picnic table enjoying a long drag from his cigarette. Life seemed to be leveling out lately and he was happy. Things were pretty quiet with the club and business was being handled smoothly, no one threatening to disrupt the flow or try to stake their claims on SAMCRO territory. Clay had backed off trying to make him prove himself as a worthy successor, realizing he knew what he was doing and that he could handle shit when things got crazy. Gemma, well she was still as annoying as hell but at least he hadn't had to hear her bitch about his choices in his personal life since he put her in her place after her sneaking over to Ashley's that day. Now she mostly stayed out of his business, adding her occasional two cents when he didn't ask for it. And then there was Ashley. She had been at a point where she would worry herself into an early grave, but he had been able to shake her out of that, even if it was only for a little while. She was stubborn but beautiful, smart and sweet at the same time. He grinned just thinking about her. Things had literally hit a climax when he confronted her about her feelings and for a while after it had been a very active honeymoon phase that he was thankful for. But things had been different since shortly after Lorraine came back. Ashley had pretty much slipped back into the parenting role with her. Always keeping tabs on where she was and not going out as much so she could keep an eye on her. As for alone time, it was pretty near impossible to get any. Lorraine was never going out anymore, unless it was to an AA meeting, which seemed to only happen while he was at work and Ashley would _never_ come to the club house. A few times he had gotten her over to Gemma's but it wasn't nearly enough. He loved her more than he even loved himself, but it looked like it was time for another one on one talk with Ashley. She hated them but he loved how she squirmed under his gaze and always gave in, usually ending up in pretty phenomenal sex afterwards. It was a win-win for him. As for the whole threatening note thing, it had seemed to blow over, but he still had his eye out and if he did catch that little shithead he was definitely going to realize that he left that note on the wrong girl's doorstep.

The only thing that wasn't good right now was Opie and he felt powerless about that whole situation. He was trying anything he could to get him out of Chino, but it wasn't going to happen. Hobart had received such an ass beating after freaking out and leaving Opie to be caught, that it was questionable if he was even still alive. But it wasn't enough to make him feel better about the position his best friend was left in. And Donna, he helped her all he knew how to, financially. She was still pissed as hell at him and he didn't blame her. But she knew what being an old lady meant and unfortunately for her she was getting the worst of it. But for Opie he would always be there for her and the kids. He knew Opie would do the same for him. They were brothers.

His phone vibrated and he looked down, grinning when he saw it was Ashley.

"Hey babe" he answered.

"Hey Jax, what are you doing?"

"Just getting ready to finish the rest of my shift, why is something wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong, I was just wondering if you wanted to come over after work."

He paused, actually considering not seeing her. He couldn't stomach sitting with Lorraine lately. She was entirely too self righteous since rehab and even had the nerve to try and convince him to walk the straight and narrow every chance she got. She seemed to forget the night she ended up in the hospital. It was still clear in his head though. He only dealt with her for Ashley.

"Jax?" her voice sounded so sweet.

"Yeah I'm here sorry."

"Lorraine is going out, she has a date with some guy she met in AA."

That got his attention. "Yeah babe, I'll shower and come right over."

Ashley laughed, "Yeah I thought so, I'll see you later."

"Love ya babe," he said before hanging up. Things were starting to look up. Maybe he would save the one on one for another time and just take advantage of their alone time for today. He hopped off of the table in an even better mood and headed back into the garage.

He worked quickly, trying to finish everything up so he could get the hell out of there. He finally pushed himself out from under the last car he was working on when someone yelled from the club house.

"Church!"

"Fuck," he said to himself, wiping his hands on a rag. Hopefully it wasn't anything important, but it usually was if they were having a meeting over it.

He walked into chapel and took a seat next to Clay, his eyes skimming over him for a hint of what could be going on. Everyone else funneled in and Bobby shut the door.

"So let's just cut to the chase," Clay started. "I spoke with Darby about Opie. He said they would protect him at Chino but we have to help them with a couple of shipments out of Lodi."

"A couple meaning two?" Tig asked.

"I don't know at this point, these assholes have the upper hand if we want to keep Opie safe. I would say it could possibly be more if Opie stays in much longer."

"So what kind of help do they need?" Jax asked.

"We have to send a few guys tonight to provide them with some muscle as they move the meth out of Lodi," Clay said to everyone, "I want you to go Jax, and bring Rob and Matt with you."

"So me and the prospects?"

"Yeah, you can handle it," Clay said giving him the shit job, obviously back to making him prove himself. "As for everyone else, we will have to help with another move soon so don't get too comfortable."

As church ended Jax was pissed. He was pissed they had to help those assholes move their drugs, the one thing they fought hard to keep out of Charming. But Darby had them by the balls, they needed Opie protected on the inside and they were the ones who could do it. But he was pissed too because he had to call Ashley and inform her he wouldn't be coming over. Maybe they would be done with the move early and he could still sneak over but he doubted it. "Fuck." He said to himself again. Clay was such an asshole sometimes. But he had to do what he had to do. He pulled out his flip phone and reluctantly dialed the number.

"Hey, are you on your way yet?" she answered. He could practically hear in her voice how much she was ready for him, which only pissed him off more.

"Sorry babe, something came up and Clay has me dealing with it."

"Really? It has to be you?" he could hear her disappointment in her voice, but he couldn't let her rattle him. He had to stay focused and show Clay he was president material and not just some pussy whipped beginner.

"I'm sorry babe, I promise I'll make it up to you."

"You better, I love you."

"Love you too, I'll call when I can."

"OK. Be careful."

He flipped his phone shut and was now able to focus on the bullshit job he got stuck with.

* * *

They pulled into the lot of the warehouse that Darby's boys used to cooked their meth in. Darby was already outside waiting for them as they pulled in.

"Hey boys," he greeted them, an evil smirk spreading across his face. He knew he had them at his mercy.

Jax got off his bike and unstrapped his helmet. "Darby." He nodded to the man he despised, the prospects following him over to where Darby stood waiting.

"So what's the story?" Jax asked Darby, wanting to get it all over with.

"We're loading up the truck now, I just need your guys to follow it to the delivery point. Keep an eye out for anything suspicious and be ready in case shit starts to go south."

"Alright," Jax replied. "So where are you delivering it to anyway?"

"We've had some demand in Farmington lately."

Jax knew what that meant, Farmington was dangerously close to Charming, practically bordering on the outskirts. "Darby, that shit doesn't get into Charming, that seems close enough to seep in."

"I'm staying out of Charming. I can't help what happens to it once it's delivered." Darby replied with a grin.

"I can," Jax warned.

"I'm going to check and see how they're doing, I'll let you know when we're ready to move. You and your guys can wait here." Darby said before walking away.

Jax knew they needed Darby's help, but there was no way he was letting him get into Charming. That was one thing they managed to keep out and they would keep it that way. He would inform Clay once this was done where Darby was dropping the drugs. Maybe there was an alternate plan to watch out for Opie, one that didn't involve doing favors for assholes or hopefully he would be out soon. Jax, Rob and Matt stood by their bikes waiting for Darby's go ahead.

"So Jax, how's thing's going with your girl?" Rob asked him. _Was he out of his fucking mind?_

"Why the hell you asking?" Jax answered him, glaring like he should be very careful or he would get an ass beating right there, task at hand or not.

"No reason man, I just feel like I'm always over there." He answered, obviously not catching Jax's drift.

"We might need to change that," Jax said looking at Matt.

"Great," Matt said.

"Let's focus and get this done, then we can all get back to our lives." Jax reminded them, hopefully they had their heads in this.

"Ok boys, it's time," Darby said coming out from the warehouse. "This is Mitch," he said motioning to the main guy, "Larry and Phil."

"You two just follow me, watch my back." Jax ordered the prospects. They nodded and got on their bikes. The small moving truck pulled out of the lot with the bikes right on it's tail. The ride went smoothly, no signs of any trouble and they got to Farmington pretty quickly. But that's when things slowed down. They had to wait in an abandoned parking lot for a couple of hours until the "customer" showed. As he pulled in Jax and the prospects came up closer to the truck, just in case there were any problems with the exchange. The guy who got out of the car was a middle aged balding man who seemed all strung out. His clothes looked like they hadn't been changed in days. He had a woman with him who was very thin, somewhat pretty but looked like she was strung out as well, probably only with him for the drugs. How the hell could these two be suppliers? He thought to himself.

"You got our money?" Mitch, the one Darby obviously left in charge asked the man.

"Yeah right here," the man replied throwing an overstuffed envelope to him.

Mitch tossed it over to Phil. "Count it."

Everyone stood on high alert as he counted the money.

"It's short."

"How much?"

"Two grand."

"What? No it's all there," the bald guy said in disbelief.

"Are you calling us liars?" Mitch said trying to intimidate him.

Jax put his hand on his gun. Now shit was going to go south. He didn't know who to believe but he was there to protect Darby's guys. He glanced at Rob and Matt and they were drawing theirs, following his lead.

"No, no. I don't want any trouble. It's definitely all there, I counted it myself." The bald guy said, practically shitting in his pants.

"Well I can think of a way we can settle this." Mitch stated, nodding to Phil.

"How?" the bald guy said panicking.

Phil grabbed the woman and pulled her over to the rest of them. "She can earn the rest." The woman screamed before one of them could cover her mouth. Jax cringed at how badly they were handling this.

"No, no, just give me the money back. Let's just cancel this whole thing." The bald guy was saying. Jax couldn't believe these assholes were trying this shit.

"That's not how this works." Mitch said as Phil dragged the woman behind the truck.

"Hey man, that's enough." Jax shouted at him.

"You shut the fuck up, you're here for_ us_." He shouted back at him.

"Yeah while you dropped the fucking drugs off, not while you raped a woman."

"She's just a fucking junkie whore. Let her earn the drugs."

Jax raised his gun to Darby's guy and knew he was crossing the line, but he couldn't stop and think about Opie right now. He couldn't let this guy be sloppy like this, there was no way Darby would be OK with this.

"Jax, don't," Matt said from behind him. But Jax couldn't see or hear anything except for the asshole in front of him.

"What are you going to do? Shoot me? You my as well put the bullet in your friend yourself." Darby's guy taunted him. Jax had had enough and was up in his face in less than a second. He shoved his gun in his mouth.

"Now let her the fuck go or you're going to eat this fucking bullet."

Mitch motioned to Larry with his hand, silently telling him to go get Phil back with the woman. They released her and she ran over to her boyfriend.

"Now give them the fucking drugs."

He motioned again and Larry got the drugs out of the truck, handing them to the local suppliers.

"Get out of here," Jax yelled over his shoulder to the couple and they quickly got in their car and left. "Now I'm only going to tell you this once. You fucking try that shit again while we're here you won't walk out of here. You understand?"

Mitch moaned from underneath the barrel.

"Good," Jax said and sneered in disgust. He pulled the gun out of Darby's guy's mouth and punched it back in with such force he saw teeth and blood come flying out. "That's for being an asshole." He turned to face the prospects. "We're done for the night kids."


	2. Chapter 2

*****Sooo sorry for not updating quicker...it was my birthday and then just a bunch of other things took up my time...no excuse! Thanks again to anyone who followed over to this story and for the reviews. I love them. I love hearing what you all want from the story, I actually change it a little every time I get your feedback and hope to make you all happy! I promise to update much quicker for the next chapter!*****

Chapter 2 –

Ashley hung up the phone with Jax and sighed outwardly. She had been really looking forward to spending some quality time with him. She missed being with him. Ever since her mom had come home they had barely spent any time alone together and she knew she was mostly to blame for that. That's why she had taken the time to get ready for tonight, planning some great things to take care of her man and show him that he deserved attention too. She had been pretty proud of herself with all of her ideas, but then Clay went and messed everything up. It figures, she thought.

She paced around the house trying to think of what else she could do with all of her alone time now. She didn't want to sit around and imagine all the possibilities of what Jax was doing tonight. She wanted to keep her mind busy with other things to avoid thinking all together, so she decided to pick up her phone and call Donna, someone else she had been neglecting lately.

"Hello?" Donna answered, sounding exhausted, which only made Ashley feel guiltier about what a bad friend she had been to her recently.

"Hey Donna, you want some company?" she asked, hoping Donna wouldn't figure out from her voice that she was her second choice for tonight.

"Yeah, sure." Donna answered, almost indifferently.

"OK, I'll be right over," Ashley responded quickly and hung up the phone with rapid speed, not giving her the chance to back out.

She grabbed her jacket, purse and keys, heading over to Donna's house. As she walked down the driveway towards her car she noticed a familiar car parked down the street on the opposite side of the road. Suddenly, memories of that stupid note flashed through her mind, it had all seemed so long ago until she saw him sitting there, or at least she assumed it was him, she couldn't really make out who it was from that distance. She wondered if he had been watching her this whole time and she had never even noticed, maybe she was just too busy with her mom and everything else to stop and realize. Or maybe Jax sent him, knowing she was going to be alone tonight. A smile crept across her lips with that realization, that he would even be thinking of protecting her when he was off doing other things.

She got to Donna's house and took a deep breath in before she rang the doorbell. It was always so emotional visiting her. She wanted to be a good friend and support her through all of this, but it was difficult to watch Donna struggling so much and for so long. At some point it had become common knowledge that Opie was not getting out, which had been something they all had to accept. It was sad to think about everything he was missing, especially these important years of his kids growing up. Donna had really stepped up and proven how strong she really was, working full time and taking care of her kids alone. She was also always mentioning her despise for the club every chance she got, but Ashley understood why she would be bitter. It was hard not to put yourself in her shoes and imagine what life would be like...it was such a real possibility. Actually, the chances of marrying a club member and not dealing with him going to jail at some point were pretty much slim to none. Ashley just tended to not think about it so much and just focused on how good her love felt with Jax and on helping her mom stay sober. The fact that she rarely went to Teller-Morrow anymore or the clubhouse really helped with that whole denial thing. Out of sight, out of mind, or something like that.

She rang the doorbell and waited for Donna to answer it.

"Hey," Donna said as she opened the door, a strained grin forced across her face. She was dressed in sweats and a t-shirt, her hair thrown up in a messy bun. Her whole body painting a picture of the depression she must have been feeling inside.

"Hey yourself," Ashley said walking inside. "How are you doing?"

"You know how I'm doing," Donna answered, closing the door. Ashley did know. "I have been doing a lot of thinking lately."

"About what?" Ashley answered as they walked over to sit down on the couches to talk, not really sure she wanted to know.

"Well, first, what's going on with you? Why haven't you left this shit hole yet?" Donna asked sitting and looking at her friend with a look which almost resembled jealousy, a willingness to switch lives in a second.

"Oh, you know I can't leave Donna, I have to be here for my mom, plus things have been going really good with Jax so…"

"Too bad...not that I'm rooting against you guys, I just want one of us to make it."

"Donna, you are making it, you are conquering it, I could only wish I would be able to hold things together like you have."

"I don't have any choice that's all."

"So what have you been thinking about?"

"Well…" she paused, her eyebrows wrinkled towards each other, as if she was trying to decide if she should reveal her innermost thoughts to Ashley or not, "Well, I love Opie and I could never leave him, but I think he's going to owe me when he finally gets out. Big time."

"I agree." Ashley said, knowing Donna was more than right.

"So I'm going to tell him that when he gets home, he needs to get a real job and...separate himself from the club." She forced out quickly, exhaling just as quick, glad that was finally out because it had been practically eating her alive.

Ashley sat quietly, trying to let Donna's words sink in. She thought about Jax and how the club was all he knew. Opie was exactly the same way. But she also understood where Donna was coming from, she just wasn't sure the end result would be what Donna was hoping for. "Well, I don't think that's unreasonable at all."

"I'm hoping he sees how he is serving time for the club and that their lives keep going on while his is standing still in one sense and passing him by in another. I'm hoping he will get out and never want to go back. I know he's scared in there, but of course he would never admit that, especially to me. But the shit that happens in prison is unimaginable."

Ashley just looked at Donna with understanding, she knew what a tough position she had been forced into.

"Please don't mention it to Jax, I don't want any problems," Donna pleaded, her eyes begging.

"There's no reason for me to say anything to Jax, this is between you and Opie."

"I just keep thinking...about my life. This is not what I had planned for myself. I never imagined that I would be here, in my twenties, two kids, husband in jail, barely paying my bills. I feel like I'm stuck and I don't see it ever getting better, and definitely never being even close to how I want it to be. Part of me wishes I could do some things over or something, to try and get closer to the result I always dreamed of. I hate thinking about it."

"I know it's tough right now Donna, but you have to focus on the good things in your life. You have two amazing kids who love you and look to you like you have all the answers. They are reason enough to be happy with anything. Start with them and everything else will fall into place." Ashley said, not sure if she even believed herself.

"Sure, it's easy to say, but when you're living it and it's constantly in your face, it's really hard to stay focused."

"I know."

The two women sat in silence. One not knowing what to say, the other sick of saying it.

"We should have another beer and nachos night," Ashley suggested with a smile.

"Yeah that's definitely needed. I would drink anything at this point." Donna laughed quietly to herself.

Ashley tried to lighten the mood and gossip about celebrities and nonsense things. She wanted to distract Donna, try to get her away from the depression that seemed to be swallowing her up. She tried to get her to focus on other things, even though it was obvious there was no way that would really happen. But if she could be happy again, even if it was for a couple of hours, maybe it would help her get through the next day better. So she kept talking and talking until Donna was participating almost as much. They talked and talked, until the couches seemed like the most comfortable place in the world. Until Ashley couldn't even imagine getting up off of it, her comfy new best friend, and the thought of driving home was not even a possibility for her heavy eyes. Until they both fell sound asleep.

Ashley woke up to the feeling of her phone vibrating against her leg. She had it out before in case of anything with her mom or Jax and must have rolled on top of it when she drifted off to sleep. It took a minute for her eyes to wake up enough to register whose number was flashing on her screen. Jax.

"Hello?" Ashley huffed out half asleep.

"Hey babe, where are you?" Jax asked, sounding alarmed.

"Huh? Uh...I'm at Donna's."

"Why? Is everything OK? It's two in the morning."

"I must have fallen asleep talking that's all."

"Oh, I drove by your house and didn't see your car so I was worried."

"Sorry Jax."

"You want a ride home?"

"Sure," she said as she rubbed her neck. The couch that had felt so comfortable before had actually contorted her body in positions it shouldn't be sleeping in and the thought of her pillowy bed was very appealing right now.

"OK, be there in a sec."

"OK."

She hung up the phone and quietly gathered up her things, tiptoeing to the front door to look out for him, she wanted to be able to go out right away so Donna wouldn't wake up from the noise of his motorcycle idling. As soon as she heard him she stealthily slipped out. She smiled big when she saw him sitting on his bike waiting for her, there was something sexy about the way he sat on his motorcycle, like it was nothing. But then again he looked sexy all of the time. Maybe tonight could still redeem itself she thought to herself smiling as she walked towards him, but as she got closer to him she could see splatters of blood all over his white t-shirt.

"Jax, you're bleeding." She said to him, her eyes wide with concern.

"Ah, no it's not mine, just some idiot's who was making things harder than they needed to be tonight."

She glanced down at his hands which were injury free, so her mind naturally wandered to the thought that Jax might have shot the guy. She had tried so hard to pretend this stuff didn't really happen. She hardly ever saw him after he was off "taking care of something" so she lived peacefully in her little happy bubble for the most part.

Jax must have noticed the panic in her face. "Babe, he's going to be fine, not that he deserves to be."

"Why, what did he do?" she asked before she could stop herself, genuinely wanting to know. He turned off the bike, sighing and parked it. He got off and walked over to her, staring down in her eyes.

"You really want to know?" he asked her.

"Yes," she answered, and she did want to know. Maybe it was time she knew a little more. Bits and pieces seemed OK, to let it all sink in slowly. He looked back and forth between her eyes, trying to decide if she could handle it, or if she would just freak out and give him shit the next time he had to do something for the club.

He decided to try, "He was trying to rape some woman, she was strung out so he wanted to take advantage."

She just looked at him trying to process what he said. Her mind was racing with questions. Where was he that some guy was trying to rape a woman, and a woman on drugs for that matter? But instead of giving him a hard time she chose to focus on the fact that as messed up as everything he just said sounded, underneath all those dysfunctional layers of events, he had done something good.

"Oh," was all she could come up with.

He just looked at her waiting.

"That's a good thing that you did."

He smirked at her. "And what were you doing with Donna?"

"We were just talking."

"How is she?"

"Not so great. She's really struggling with everything."

"I know, I wish there was more I could do for her."

"Me too, I tried to cheer her up, not sure I was very successful though."

"You have a big heart. You're always taking care of people...like a little nurse or something." His eyes sparkled at her playfully.

She smiled at that. "Not always. I haven't been taking care of you lately."

"I don't want you to take care of me. I want to take care of you."

"You sure? Because I had some big plans to take care of you tonight...but...if you don't want me to." She smiled innocently.

"What? No, yes I mean." He said a little caught off guard and she laughed at him. "So what big plans did you have? Did it involve dressing like a nurse?"

She laughed at him again, "Well...my first plan is to get you out of that nasty shirt."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3-

Jax had a hard time waking up the next morning, his eyes not able to blink clearly as he rubbed them with the heels of his palms. He smiled to himself when he remembered why he was feeling so tired. Thankfully the sun was bright in the sky already at 8am and the light blaring through the window shades had managed to be enough to wake him before he was late for work. He had barely gotten any sleep with Ashley the night before, it was his fault though, every time they started to drift off he would try to get a little more from her, knowing it might be some time before he would again. He glanced over at her sleeping, naked and pressed softly up against him. His other brain begged him to wake her one more time before he had to leave. But he knew he was already going to have to explain some things to Clay about the night before as it was and he didn't need to add more fuel to the fire. Plus Ashley had really put a lot of effort and energy into pleasing him and she could probably use the rest. He pulled her blanket over her before quietly rolling out of the bed and slipping on his clothes. He looked at her again and couldn't resist leaning over to kiss her on her forehead. You're such a pussy, he thought to himself as he left her room.

He went out towards the kitchen to head for the front door, but it was just his luck that Lorraine would be up bright and early. Now that she wasn't drinking she seemed to always be around.

"Good morning Jax," she said to him. He could hear her voice dripping with some sort of warning that she had caught him doing something wrong.

"Good morning," he answered her and stopped to watch her for a second, he just wanted to leave but he was trying his best not to be rude.

"Sleep good?" she asked. Was she kidding him right now?

"Yeah, you?" he asked blowing her off.

"Could have been better," she said staring obnoxiously at him, "Nice shirt."

He looked down and silently groaned, rolling his eyes. "Listen Lorraine, it was nice chatting with you but I can't be late for work."

"No, you have to earn a living right? Pay the bills?" she responded, drilling a hole through his head with her eyes.

"Yeah, what are you getting at?"

"Ashley deserves much better than that club."

"Since when has it bothered you? You married into the club remember?" Jax spat back at her, he was done playing nice and she was only looking for a fight anyway.

"Since it has to do with my daughter."

Jax huffed out a sarcastic laugh. "Oh right, I forgot, between the two of us _you're_ the one who looks out for Ashley's best interest."

"That doesn't mean I can't start now." Lorraine said staring at him with no intentions of backing down.

"Well I'm really impressed with your effort, keep up the good work Lorraine," he said as he left the house. Now he was really fucking annoyed. She really had nerve trying to talk down to him or whatever it was she was doing. He tried to focus on the good things with Ashley and forget about Lorraine. Maybe it was time for him to finally move out of his mom's house. He had been spending most of his time at the clubhouse anyways. But would Ashley go for that? Would she be able to leave her mom? Was he even ready for that? He thought so. He strapped his helmet on and started up his bike, revving it a few times to piss Lorraine off before he went off to face Clay.

* * *

Jax walked into the clubhouse ready to get whatever was coming his way over with.

"Hey Jax," Tig said grabbing his attention. He was leaning against a pool table with his arms tightly folded over his chest.

"Hey man, what's up?" Jax responded, wondering why Tig was just standing there by himself.

"What the hell happened last night man?" Tig asked him, straightening up and coming towards him.

Jax just stared at him trying to figure out his angle.

Tig must have realized he wasn't going to get much out of Jax. "Clay spoke to Darby." He paused, looking at him and trying to get some sort of reaction, "He was pissed at the condition you left his guy in. What the hell were you thinking?"

"Where's Clay?" Jax answered. He wasn't going to try to explain himself to Tig, he didn't need too. He liked him fine but they both had different ideas on how to handle shit.

"In back," Tig answered non-specifically still staring at him for a response.

"Thanks," Jax said before turning and heading back to find Clay. As he walked towards the back he could feel Tig watching him. What the hell's his problem, he thought to himself.

A familiar red headed crow eater came around the corner as he was walking back, interrupting him from his thoughts.

"Hey Jax," she smiled flirtatiously at him.

He just looked at her and kept walking, it was too early for this shit. Clay came around the corner, following her a little too closely in Jax's opinion. He looked back at the red head and back to Clay. Clay just stood there, his hands on his hips with a cocky smile that Jax felt like punching off his ugly face.

"Son," Clay said to him, pissing Jax off more than he already was this morning. "Did you come here to talk to me about last night?"

"It sounds like someone already beat me to it," Jax answered.

"It was a relatively simple job, I'm just not sure how things could end up the way they did."

"Darby's asshole guy was playing stupid, wanting to rape some woman, Darby should know that. That's not how he would want shit to go down."

"You were only supposed to be there in case they needed back up," Clay said stone faced, "Not to play moral police with little boys."

"You would have handled it the same way."

"Oh I would have?" Clay asked. "Were you thinking of what was best for the club when you were smashing in his teeth?"

"I was thinking of what was best period. And that asshole raping some woman was not best."

"Well Darby is pissed. And with Darby pissed Opie could be an easy target."

"I'll take care of Darby." Jax answered him. He wasn't sure what it would take, but hopefully a phone call would be enough to square things away. "And by the way, they're bringing that shit into Farmington."

"What?" Now it was Clay's turn to be pissed. He ran his hand through his hair, obviously not prepared for that news. "That son of a bitch, he's got us by the fucking balls."

"He seemed pretty happy with himself about it too."

"Of course he is, and he knows the longer Opie is in, the more territory he can get, and with our help." Clay put his hands back on his hips and started pacing back and forth.

"We have to think of another plan, there has to be another option so that we don't have to play into these assholes hands."

"You got anything in mind?" Clay asked, he face showing he was lost for ideas.

"You think Unser would be able to pull some strings?"

"Not in prison, that's another jurisdiction entirely."

"Even with knowledge of where some meth is being stored?"

Clay stopped and turned to Jax, looking at him incredulously.

* * *

Ashley opened one eye and groaned, not wanting her sleep to end for anything. Her dreams had been great and her night even better. She knew Jax had been gone for awhile now because her hands had searched for him and had came up empty the past two times her body threatened to wake up. She groaned again and searched for some clothes to throw on for a quick run to the bathroom and then maybe she could go back to sleep some more.

It was only when she came out of the bathroom that she noticed her mom sitting on the couch staring at her.

"Hey mom," she said groggily.

"Hey baby, why don't you come sit down and talk with me?" Her mom asked seriously patting the couch beside her. It was too early and with the amount of sleep Ashley had got she felt like she was dealing with a major hang over, even though she hadn't had anything to drink. She was not in the mood for a talk, but she always wanted to be there for her mom. She didn't want to give her a reason to fall off the wagon again so she went over to the couch and sat down.

"What's up?" she asked, trying to wake up enough to focus on whatever her mom needed to talk about.

"How serious are things with you and Jax?" Lorraine asked her.

"Why?" Ashley asked. Oh crap, for sure she saw him leaving. Or maybe they were too loud and woke her up? She had tried to keep that under control.

"I'm just concerned," Lorraine answered.

"What's there to be concerned about?" Ashley asked, wanting her mom to reveal what she knew.

"Just answer me."

"I don't know, it feels pretty serious to me."

"That's what I was afraid of. Look Ashley, I don't think it's a good idea, the two of you together." Lorraine said with concerned eyes, trying to emphasize her feelings.

"Why not? We've known each other for our whole lives. And you are best friends with Gemma. I would think you would be happy about this."

Lorraine just looked at her like she had all the answers before Ashley could even ask them, "Because...he is heavily involved with that club. He will be president one day and I don't want that life for you."

"Why not? It was your life once mom and I don't remember it being that bad. Besides, is_ this_ the life you want me to have? Staying with_ you_ forever?" Ashley knew her mom had real concerns, Ashley had them too. But she wasn't about to give her the satisfaction of being right. She really had no right to tell her how to live her life at all.

"No of course not and I'm trying to change that for both of us," her mom said softly and genuinely. "But the club life is not for you sweetheart."

"It happened mom, my hearts already in it with him."

Her mom sat there staring at her, biting on the inside of her lip obviously trying to find the right thing to say to steer her away from Jax. "You will never change him Ashley, he will always do what he's doing."

Ashley just sat there silently.

"Always Ashley," Lorraine said trying to hold her eyes with her own. "There's only one way out of that club."

Ashley looked at her then. "Why do you say that?"

"Because I've seen it."

Ashley thought about her dad…no…then she thought about Donna's plans for Opie. "If that was true, why would you bring us back here?"

"Because I wasn't thinking clearly when I made that decision. It was an easy move with the house ready for us and I was really missing my life with your dad, I was looking to party and feel like I did so many years ago. Seeing Gemma, hanging out at the clubhouse, I thought it would be just like old times. But your dad wasn't there this time and I remembered all the reasons I had always wanted to leave in the first place. It wasn't the same and I just drowned my pain so I wouldn't have to feel it." Lorraine paused for a second before continuing, "But one thing I noticed is that things seem to have only gotten worse as far as the club is concerned. They are not on the same path that they originally planned to be on….none of them, not even Gemma."

"So when dad was in the club things were different?" I asked hoping it was true.

"Somewhat…definitely not like it is now."

That was relieving for Ashley to hear in a way.

"So what if one of them just decided they wanted to leave the club and do something else, something legit? They are supposed to have each others backs, you're saying that that could never happen?" Ashley asked, worrying about Opie and Donna.

"Exactly. I mean maybe it could, but I've never seen it happen. They are supposed to have each others backs, but if you do something that hurts someone else in the club you suffer the wrath of all of them."

"What about the wives and kids?"

"That's one thing I think they would never do, hurt wives and kids."

Ashley sat thinking. She couldn't control how she felt about him though. She couldn't imagine not being with him at this point.

"Has he asked you to get tattooed yet?" Lorraine asked, interrupting her thoughts.

"No, why?" Ashley answered.

Lorraine smiled, seemingly relieved. "That's good, it's not as bad as I thought then."

"Why, what's that supposed to mean?" Ashley asked, slightly alarmed that her mom was smiling.

"Well, he can't be as serious about you as you are of him, that's all. If he wanted you to be his old lady he would have asked you to get a tattoo. Like this," Lorraine said and pulled the back of her pants down a little to reveal a tattoo of a crow and a heart. "That's when you know he really wants to be with you. Until then, he's fair game for all the other ladies over there."

Ashley sat stunned. Her mom's words cut her like a razor blade. She couldn't be right, she would say whatever she needed to say to make her point. Right?


	4. Chapter 4

*****Thanks for all the reviews and new followers! You guys are _awesome_!*****

Chapter 4

Jax rubbed his hand roughly over his face as he hung up the phone with Darby. He had managed to somewhat smooth things over but at the expense of having to provide more protection for a few additional moves. Luckily Darby was pissed off when he heard what Mitch had wanted to do so he understood why Jax had reacted, he didn't need any stupid shit messing up his good business.

It had already been a long day dealing with Lorraine, Clay and then Darby but it wasn't so unusual compared to what he normally had to deal with. It was part of the club life, especially if he was going to take over one day. What everyone else would consider stressful and dramatic was where Jax was able to be his best self. He managed to keep his cool for the most part, but when he did react he did it quickly and forcefully and more often than not the person on the receiving end got his point right away.

Thankfully he had Ashley, she was exactly what he needed to balance himself out. She was sweet and calming, making him forget about all of the ugly bullshit he had to take care of every day. She was sexy but classy, making him forget about all of the trashy whores that hung out at the club house. Sure, some of them had nice bodies and knew what they were doing, but it was nice to have someone to himself, her perfect body reminding him that he was the only one she had ever been with, or if not you would never be able to tell, but he really didn't want to consider that anyway. The thought of making it a little more serious came back into his mind. Just to not have to deal with Lorraine it might be all worth it. He knew he loved her and could not imagine being without her, he even knew he wanted her to get the tattoo that would mark that she was all his. The thought of another man even looking at her made him realize what he was capable of in terms of torture. But for some reason, the thought of getting a place together made him a little hesitant. It would make it harder to walk away, not saying that time would ever come, but a place would feel more permanent. He would probably have to field questions more about where he had been, especially if he spent the night on a run or in the clubhouse. It would definitely bring their relationship to the level that it needed to be if they were to get married one day and have kids. But could he give up his "freedom" and all that came with that? He thought so, but his mind kept arguing back and forth with him.

"Jax, you coming in?" Bobby called out from the doorway of the clubhouse. Jax was still in his spot at the picnic table from when he had called Darby.

"Yeah, in a few," Jax muttered back.

"Don't take too long, there might not be any beer left." Bobby called as he let the door fall shut behind him.

Jax looked down at his phone, contemplating calling Ashley. He flipped it over and over in his hands, his mind busy trying to decide what it wanted. He knew _who _he wanted, but maybe if there was a way that he could keep his own space _and_ make things more serious with Ashley, just so he knew that she was only his. And maybe there was a way that they could spend more time together without making such a huge move.

"There he is," Tig's voice jarred him out of his trance. He glanced up to see Tig walking over to him, his arm around a certain brunette's waist. "We were just looking for you...someone has been missing you Jax."

Jax straightened up, this was probably the worst time this could happen. "Now's not a good time," he said with his best effort.

"That's OK, I'm sure doll face here can help you out with that," Tig wore a triumphant grin on his face and turned around leaving Jax with the crow eater he was all too familiar with.

"Hey you," she said as she slid in next to him.

He looked over at her, she wasn't the best looking girl in the world, but her body was pretty good and she was extremely talented with her mouth, earning her quite a reputation with all the guys.

"You look so lonely sitting over here all by yourself." She said with a side smile.

* * *

Ashley had spent most of the day searching for jobs. She was tired of barely having any money and really needed to get out of the house. Her mind had been so preoccupied with what her mom had said earlier that it had been hard to stay focused, but she managed to apply for six jobs anyway and hopefully she would hear from at least one of them soon.

She thought about Jax and everything from the night before. Everything about him told her that he really wanted to be with her. She remembered their conversations, when she had been scared to open up her heart to him, not wanting to let go of control over it, and remembered how he wanted nothing else. Her mom had to be wrong. She knew she had to talk to him about it, but she wasn't sure how to bring it up without sounding pathetic.

She decided to call him. Maybe they could talk over the phone, or even better maybe they could see each other tonight. She found her cell phone and punched in his number, waiting anxiously for him to pick up. She could hear her heart pounding in her ear as her anxiety started to peak with each ring. She hated talking about her feelings. After eight long rings and some tingling in her fingers, she hung up. Now all she felt was disappointment. _You're seriously crazy_, she thought to herself.

She decided to text him, maybe he was busy with the club or something that he didn't answer.

_I missed you all day, please call when you can __J_

She stared at her phone for at least ten minutes waiting for it to speak back to her. She didn't know why she was so nervous about their relationship all of a sudden. Her mom shouldn't have had such an effect on her. She put the phone down on the bathroom counter and decided to jump in the shower and try to take her mind off of things. But it didn't help much as she found herself turning the shower off every few minutes, thinking for sure she might have heard something, and scrambling with her wet body across the cold bathroom tiles to peek at her phone. _You're really pathetic_.

She got out of the shower and toweled off. She thought about what Jax could be doing right now, he usually called her back right away or at least texted her if he was busy. She thought about all the women who hung out over there and the way they looked at him. Normally she pushed these thoughts out of her mind, trusting him completely, but today they threatened to sabotage her sanity.

Finally her phone rang and she jumped at it, eager to answer, but when she saw who was calling she couldn't help but feeling a little more disappointed. It was Amanda, who Ashley hadn't spoke to at all since she was fired by Bill.

"Hello?" Ashley answered.

"Hey Ash! How's everything? I haven't talked to you in forever!" Amanda greeted her excitedly.

"Everything's good, how about you?"

"I'm good, I was going to go to McCaffrey's and was wondering if you wanted to join me so we could catch up?"

Normally Ashley would have said no. She really had no reason to continue her friendship with Amanda. But she was desperate for a distraction and this was as good as any.

"Sure, sounds good," Ashley answered her.

"Great, I'll pick you up in an hour!" Amanda said and they hung up with each other.

McCaffrey's was a pub on the outskirts of town. It was normally pretty quiet but a few nights a week they had dancing and it became very active. A lot of younger people hung out there on those nights. She had a reason to dress up a little, so she did. She threw on a cute white layered frilly skirt which came down mid-thigh with a soft pink shirt with ruched sleeves, it was pretty but didn't show any cleavage which is how she wanted it. She wasn't going out to get a man, she just wanted to take her mind off of one. She threw her boots on and did her hair and makeup, waiting for Amanda to come and get her.

As they were on their way to McCaffrey's, Amanda babbling away about something that happened at work, Ashley decided to text Jax again. She didn't want to badger him, but she wanted him to know where she was going, just out of respect.

_Going to McCaffrey's with Amanda… yeah I know….was hoping to hear from you, talk to you soon._

She sighed and kept her phone in her hand the rest of the way there. It wasn't like him not to respond and she hoped that everything was OK. When they pulled up to McCaffrey's she finally put her phone away in her purse, vowing to not let it control her any longer.

When they walked inside, the place was already packed. The music was blaring and it was hard to move around, but they squeezed their way through and over to the bar. Amanda ordered two beers and they hung out there for a little while, drinking their liquid courage before they hit the dance floor. Ashley had forgotten how fun Amanda was. She was sarcastic and a little rude, but she was outgoing and great to party with. Ashley was more shy and quiet so Amanda was just what she needed to have a good time. They caught up as much as they could, yelling to each other over the loud music, before getting frustrated and deciding to dance and just have fun. Finally Ashley was able to relax, she knew that Jax wouldn't want her to be so consumed with thinking about him that she wasn't living her life, so she decided to just let go.

* * *

Jax went back to his room, looking for his phone. He couldn't remember where he had put it down and had been distracted most of the night with other things. But when he finally had a moment to himself he realized he should check it in case anyone had tried to reach him, like maybe Ashley.

He finally found his phone on the floor beside his bed. He guessed maybe it fell out of his pocket before when...He glanced at his phone and noticed a missed call and two texts from Ashley. He felt bad when he saw what time it had been and that he had not responded, but when he read her text about going out with Amanda he felt something else. He did not feel good about her at a bar with Amanda of all people and Ashley was such a light weight that he was only imagining the worst. He tried to call her but there was no answer.

He decided it was time to go to McCaffrey's. That place was not a place where she should be, especially on the weekends. It was only filled with punks trying to get laid and crappy music. He made his way through the clubhouse and spotted Chibs drinking a beer. He decided it wouldn't be a bad idea to bring a little back up in case of anything.

"Hey Chibs, take a ride with me?" he called out to him.

"Sure thing Jackie Boy," Chibs said and followed him out without asking questions.

They rode to the bar and as they pulled up he became more annoyed when he saw how packed the parking lot was. Why the hell would she be going out with Amanda anyway, what was she thinking? Nothing about that sounded like a good idea. They parked their bikes and walked up to the entrance, which luckily did not currently have a line to wait in because he didn't have much patience left.

"What are we doing here brother?" Chibs asked him.

"Ashley's here, I just want to keep an eye for a minute before I go get her."

"Testing your woman?" Chibs asked.

"Something like that," Jax answered. They walked inside and the place was packed. He didn't like the idea of having to squeeze himself through so many people. Pushing himself up against other men was not appealing in any way. They went up to the bar, got a couple of beers and were able to find two bar stools. He sat down, scanning the crowd for Ashley or Amanda. His eyes found her almost immediately, she was on the dance floor, smiling and dancing with Amanda. He was no fan of dancing but watching her move like that was a huge turn on. The way she moved her hips, her skirt bouncing up and down giving quick little peeks. It also pissed him off, knowing that other guys were looking at that. Why would she wear a fucking skirt? He glanced over at Chibs and saw him looking at the two girls also.

"Enjoying yourself?" Jax asked. He didn't care about Chibs, he would never do anything like that.

"No, no, this place is like a vice grip on my head. What the hell kind of music is this anyway?" He said turning his eyes back to his beer.

"You wouldn't know old man, it's what all the kids listen to now a days," Jax said teasing. He looked back to Ashley, watching her a few more minutes before he would go over. He was happy she was just dancing with Amanda. It didn't look like they were there with anyone else. He was satisfied, but he still didn't like that she was putting herself in this situation without him. He leaned his back on the bar and finished his beer.

"There has to be something you like in here." Jax said to Chibs.

"What would they want with me?" he asked Jax. "I could be their Daddy."

Jax raised his eyebrows with a suggestive thought and grinned and Chibs laughed. He turned his gaze back to where Ashley was and didn't have time to process what happened next before he could stop himself.

Some guido looking Mexican fool went up behind Ashley and started grinding on her. He was brave enough to put his hands on her thighs and try to move them up under her skirt, that fucking skirt she had no business wearing. As he leapt out of his seat he saw Ashley turn around and push the guy hard in the chest to get away from her. The guy laughed and went back in towards Ashley but Jax was there by then and wedged himself between them, grabbing him by the throat.

"You want to touch my girl man?" Jax asked him roughly.

He thought he heard Ashley call his name, but he was focusing only on the piece of shit in front of him. He knew Chibs wasn't far behind.

"Your girl?" the guy laughed at him, "Esé, _your_ girl's been looking at _me_ all night, she _wanted_ me to touch her."

Ashley screamed out "No" and "Liar" but it went practically unnoticed as his fist met the guys face. The guy fell to the floor and Jax went in to finish his point. Chibs yelled at Amanda to grab Ashley who was trying to stop Jax before going in to pull Jax back himself. Jax straightened up and kicked the guy in the sides.

"Who's laughing now esé?" he said before spitting down on him.

A bartender who was familiar with the Sons came over to them. "Jax, you guys need to get out of here."

"No problem," said Chibs. Amanda had already started pulling Ashley outside and he looked over at Jax.

"I'm done." Jax nodded.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Ashley was pulled outside by Amanda, her thoughts swirling frantically around her head. She hadn't even had time to realize what was happening when that jerk put his hands on her. Her first reaction was to push him hard away from her, her second one was going to be to kick him in the balls when she noticed his sloppy grin coming in for more, but that's when Jax magically appeared in front of her. Where the hell had he been that he was there at that exact moment, when he had been unreachable all day? She had been stunned at the exchange between them and when that jerk tried saying she was looking at him all night she had almost lost it. But then when she saw Jax start to hit him, punch after punch with no mercy, she screamed. That was not what she wanted. Amanda had pulled her back which was probably good because she might have gotten hurt accidentally in the whole exchange. Jax didn't seem to notice anything around him. Everything happened so quickly and nothing made sense as she tried to pull her thoughts together.

They only had to wait a few moments before Chibs and Jax came strolling outside like nothing happened. They even took a minute to light up their cigarettes as Ashley just stood there speechless.

"Back to the club house?" Chibs asked Jax,

"Yeah." He answered smoking his cigarette. He hadn't yet looked at Ashley. She was sure if he did that he would see what she was thinking.

"No offense guys, but I'm just going to head home," Amanda piped up, "I think I've had enough action for one night."

"Awe, you don't want to come by for one beer? I bet you could use it," Chibs answered.

"Nah, really that's ok," she said. "Ashley, it's been real, maybe we'll catch up again soon…..somewhere safe."

"What, clubbing wasn't a good idea?" Jax asked sarcastically and Ashley knew that comment was meant more for her than Amanda. But she wasn't unnerved by him, she had plenty to question him about too.

"Bye Ash," Amanda said, ignoring Jax's question.

"Bye," Ashley responded, finally able to speak.

Chibs got on his bike, then Jax did too, holding out his helmet for Ashley. She took it, still noticing he wouldn't look at her. _Whatever_, she thought as she got on behind him.

* * *

Jax couldn't look at Ashley. He had had so much going on in his head all day, spinning around and around, but now riding, everything was slowly starting to settle into place. He had to get her back to his room so that they could talk. If he realized anything today it was what he really wanted and how he needed it to be. He couldn't take the thought of her being with someone else so he knew he had to get that point across to her and show her he was serious. It was obvious to him that he might have to make an uncomfortable effort in order to achieve what he wanted. Seeing some other guy put his hands on her made every nerve in his body stand on attention. He knew he had to do whatever it took so that she was only with him.

He felt her hands around his waist barely brushing against his shirt. He knew his actions with that guy had shocked her. She was so innocent and he knew it was hard for her to see him that way. But she didn't understand why it needed to happen. Sometimes she was too naïve, like wearing a short skirt to go dancing. He didn't understand how she thought sometimes.

They got to the club house and Chibs was already inside. Ashley got off the bike as he parked it and once he was off of it she had turned to him, staring at him intently. Her eyes seemed filled with concern and even a little fear so he couldn't stop himself from grabbing her face in his hands and kissing her. He had to prove to her that he loved her more than anything and would never hurt her. He tried to kiss her softly and lovingly and each time she tried to pull away he just came back stronger. He could feel her struggling beneath him, wanting to kiss him back but wanting to push him away at the same time.

Finally she pushed him more forcefully away and looked up at him breathless, "We really need to talk."

"I agree, let's go my room," he answered her.

"I don't think being near a bed is going to help right now," she answered him.

Maybe she _was_ turned on, he thought. Maybe she liked that he punched a guy in the face for her. "I don't see us getting much privacy out here."

"Let's just try." She answered and he didn't protest. "First thing I am curious about, how did you happen to show up at that exact moment?"

"Well I got your text, went down there and watched for a few minutes, so when it happened I was right there."

"So you didn't trust me?"

"It's not that, it's just that I know what kind of guys go there and I don't trust them."

"But you were watching _me_."

Ah, the way a woman's mind worked. You have to be very careful with how you say things or they trap you. "I was watching you because you looked so hot dancing and I wanted to enjoy it for a minute before I let you know I was there." He said very proud of his answer. "One thing that bothered me though was that skirt, that's probably not the safest thing you could have worn to go out dancing without me."

"Yeah probably not, I was thinking about not showing cleavage, but…" she started to bite down on her lower lip, obviously thinking of something she wanted to say. He could only think of her lips and what he wanted to do to them. "Were you busy all day or something?" She asked, looking straight into his eyes for the truth.

She pulled him out of his thoughts of taking her right here and now over his bike and back to the reality he had been through today. "Yeah," he started, thinking about the brunette. He felt so guilty all of a sudden. He didn't know why he had taken her back to his room but at the time he figured there was nothing wrong with getting something quick from her, he wasn't going to be doing anything to her and it seemed harmless enough. But soon after they had gone to his room and made it over to his bed he decided to kick her out, not being able to let her touch him. He knew he was turning into a pussy but he just couldn't get himself to go through with it. Most of the guys would usually get some on the side, so it confused her when he wanted to stop her, he would never hear the end of it if the guys knew he was getting so whipped.

"Jax? I was starting to worry when I didn't hear back from you."

"Yeah, I had a lot to do and then I did try calling when I got your messages, but you must have been out already." This was the shit he knew would start, the questioning of what he had been doing during a day. But he had to just deal with it if he wanted to be in a relationship. Plus he knew there were things they needed to discuss. Hopefully it would be over soon so he could get her in his room and get her to dance on him the way she was dancing at the bar.

"So I had a talk with my mom today once you left." Ashley was rocking back and forth on her legs, obviously nervous to talk and he could only imagine what her mom had to say, especially after their little confrontation in her kitchen.

* * *

Ashley was nervous to talk about her feelings but she was determined to get this important conversation out of the way so that they could hopefully move forward with their relationship. Jax looked annoyed when she brought up her mom so she decided to just get it out and do it quick. That way it would just be over. "She doesn't think I should be with you," she started. "she said that she was happy that it is not as serious as I think it is, because you would have asked me to get your tattoo, and until you ask me that you are fair game to all the girls at the club house."

Ashley said that so fast that she was sure she might have skipped multiple words or even slurred them together, but by the look on his face she knew that he had heard everything.

"Babe, you know I love you," He said genuinely, his eyes were soft and concerned.

"I know but maybe we are just at different stages of this, maybe I am just a little more serious about this than you."

"No, did you see me when that guy touched you? If I wasn't serious about you would it have bothered me so much?"

"Yes, actually that was a little alarming Jax." _To say the least_, she thought to herself, "And I need you to know that one thing I can't handle either is seeing you with someone else, I can't handle cheating. I am not ok with sharing my man with anyone, it will break our relationship. I never really considered it with you until my mom mentioned it and it has been bothering me all day."

Ashley looked at him, wanting him to speak and tell her something to make her feel more secure. He came up close to her and put his hands on her hips. "I don't want anyone else, I only want you. And I want to put my crow on you, telling everyone that you're mine." His finger traced along her lower back.

Ashley smiled, she knew she had worried for no reason.

"What I need _you_ to know is that I can't handle you going clubbing without me or wearing mini skirts in public," he said with all seriousness, "Let me just clarify something though, I don't want to go clubbing ever."

"Deal," she laughed, "And what about dresses?"

"Just with me," he said grinning, "and I was thinking we should get our own place."

"Really?" Ashley asked shocked that he was suggesting that. She hadn't thought of that at all. She thought of Lorraine, but for once the thought of moving out seemed tangible, and wonderful at the same time. She could tell by the way he was looking at her that he was expecting her to say no. She understood why he would think that, but she really needed to put some distance between herself and her mother and would love to spend more time with him doing so. "That sounds amazing."

A huge smile spread across his face, "Are you sure? If you want to think about it more you can."

"Yes I'm sure, if I think about it more I might say no."

"I should tell you though, I like to have sex a lot. Pretty much all the time. And I rarely wear clothes at home."

"Really? Me too." She said laughing.


	6. Chapter 6

Ashley wrapped her arms a little tighter around Jax as they rode towards his mom's house. She was nervous about tonight. They were planning on telling both Gemma and Lorraine about their plans to move out together. She wasn't sure whose reaction she was more scared of, her mom's or his. Her relationship had been more than strained with Gemma ever since the day she went to confront Jax at the clubhouse. The day she found out about all of his extra curricular activities.

"Babe, you got to loosen your grip a little," Jax shouted over his shoulder as they were idling at a red light, "I'm starting to lose feeling in my legs."

"Oh, sorry," Ashley said as she noticed how tight she was grasping him and moved her hands to the outside of his thighs while they were sitting still. The slight movement of her head made her feel dizzy and she was almost positive that she was going to throw up very soon. She had wanted this for so long, to start a life separate from her mom, but now that it was within reach it was beginning to closely resemble a stomach virus she had once when she was sixteen.

The light turned green and she quickly grabbed onto the bottom of his cut, trying her best not to cling on to him for dear life. She was scared to tell them, scared of their reaction, and petrified of living on her own with him. What if it didn't work out? And what if it did? Was she ready for this? It was such a big change that she had thought only a few days before that she was ready for, but every day since then she was starting to freak out more and more. She decided to focus on her breathing and try to think of a calm peaceful place. Ahh, laying on the beach with the sun warming her skin, the sound of the waves rolling in and out slowly, lulling her to sleep...

They must have pulled into the driveway because she felt the bike come to a stop. She opened her eyes to see Jax eyeing her with slight amusement.

"What?" She asked, she was pretty sure he was able to see the fear and panic plastered all over her face.

"Nothing," he said getting off the bike and pulling up the bottom of his shirt, "Just as I thought."

Ashley looked at Jax's toned stomach, which made hers turn somersaults in return. But she quickly pushed those thoughts from her mind when she noticed the claw marks she had made from holding onto him so tight. She reached her hands out and traced her fingers over the small nail prints, "I did that? Oh my God."

"Wait, there's more right here, look," he said pulling his waistband a little lower and pulling her hand with the hopes she would trace her fingers there as well. He glanced up at her with a playful smirk on his face.

"You're an ass," Ashley said pulling her hand away, "I was actually feeling bad for a second."

Jax pulled her hand back, pulling Ashley into him. He looked down into her eyes, "Hey."

"Hi."

He smiled at her knowingly, "Relax, it's going to be fine."

"Easy for you to say, my mom will disown me, yours will plot some way to scare me off, and I don't want to even think about Clay, or dismemberment, both equally terrifying."

"I'm sure it will go better than you are imagining, besides it doesn't matter what they say anyways." He leaned down to kiss her lips gently but with enough ownership that she would feel safe and trust him. She always melted when he kissed her, he could convince her of anything in those moments. He pulled away and she looked at him, his eyes searching hers to gauge where her head was at. Something made her look behind him and as she did she noticed Gemma and Lorraine standing in the front window spying on them. Jax looked over his shoulder to see what she was looking at.

"I guess we should go in," he said chuckling.

Ashley didn't think it was funny. She knew what was going through her mom's head right now. She was not one for being publically affectionate and neither was Jax for that matter but he didn't seem to mind this time. She didn't even notice that he had grabbed her hand and was leading her inside.

"Hey Ma," he said as they made their way into the kitchen. He dropped Ashley's hand to kiss Gemma on the cheek, his hand on her side. "Hi Lorraine." He said nodding.

"Jackson," Lorraine greeted. She could never just be friendly to him, Ashley thought to herself. Ashley glanced at Gemma and noticed that she had took note of Lorraine's behavior too.

"Hi Mom," Ashley hugged her mom before switching to Gemma. "Hey Gemma."

"Hey babygirl," Gemma smiled and hugged her. Ashley remembered when Gemma was genuine with her, it wasn't too long ago that she knew she loved her, maybe tonight she would try and make things more normal between them.

"What's for dinner Ma?" Jax asked, opening the fridge for a beer.

"Lasagna baby, I hope you brought your appetites because I have a shit load of food to get rid of."

"Always." He said and turned to Ashley, "You want something to drink?"

"No thanks," Ashley answered. _Drink? Was he crazy?_ How could she possibly think of drinking when they were about to drop this major bomb on their mothers. Her mouth_ was_ feeling pretty dry though, her tongue thick as sand paper. "Well maybe some water."

Jax grinned knowingly and turned to get her a water.

"So what have you been up to lately Ashley, I feel like I haven't seen you in forever." Gemma questioned, "Did you get a job yet?"

"Um, no, but I have two interviews this week," Ashley answered her.

"Well that's good," Gemma said, "It's always nice to have your own money, even when you have other people taking care of you."

_What did that mean?_ Ashley started to feel uncomfortable. Maybe she had read Gemma wrong when she first came inside.

"I heard they are hiring for a front desk girl down at the police station, do you want me to ask Unser about it? Or even Leahy?" Clay taunted, entering the room.

"No, that's not necessary," Ashley answered, and if she wasn't close to hyperventilating before, that sure pushed her to the edge.

"Well it will be good for Ashley to get a job, not that she really needs one, but it will help when…"

"Jax, can I talk to you for a sec?" She interrupted him, pulling him by his hand down the hall towards his bedroom. She went inside and leaned up against the wall breathing so heavy and feeling like she really couldn't catch her breath at all.

"Babe, why'd you stop me? That was the perfect time to tell them," Jax asked looking at her. Ashley wasn't even able to look at him, she was panicking. _Had he not heard Clay?_ She knew that was his way of threatening her. Her breathing was so fast and erratic, her head was ringing and her throat felt like it was closing in on her. "Ash?"

"Between Clay, Gemma and Lorraine, we're both dead."

"Ash, relax, you've got to calm down." He said trying to stoke her face, she moved her head away from his hand as if his touch was burning her. "No offense babe, but you need to pull your shit together, this is not the time for a panic attack." He said backing away from her.

That grabbed Ashley's attention and she glared at him.

"Seriously, let's just tell them and get it over with. You worry too much. If they have a problem with it they'll just have to get over it."

"Tell us what?" Gemma asked from the doorway and Ashley's heart sank.

"We're moving in together," Jax informed her matter of factly. Ashley just stood there, her legs frozen in place, staring at the floor, wishing this would end quick.

"What? No you're not."

"Yes we are, and we're going to make it official too."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. There are so many reasons that this is a bad idea son."

Jax stiffened up and Ashley realized he had obviously thought the conversation would go much smoother than it was starting to go.

"For one, Clay will not be happy to learn that Ashley is distracting you this much."

"What? You're out of your mind mom."

It made sense to Ashley that Gemma was saying this, she had been thinking Gemma was constantly in Clay's ear this whole time.

"Also can she accept your club life style? And all the nights that you need some company when you are on a run?"

"Why would you say that?" Jax was noticeably pissed and starting to approach his mom.

"And you?" She said turning towards Ashley, "You think you can handle this lifestyle? You are way too weak. I give it maybe a month before you decide you can't stick around and that's being generous. You're not made for this sweetheart."

"I have never agreed with you more Gemma," Lorraine said, obviously eavesdropping from her place in the hallway.

"Do you really think you will ever be president having a needy old lady at home?," she asked turning back to Jax, "She has to be able to handle it Jax. She would have to support you and be the glue that holds you together. We both know she can't handle even the slightest amount of pressure."

"I know she can handle it, we've already talked about these things. It's not up to you." Jax raised his voice at her.

"Clay!" Gemma called out to the other room.

"We're leaving Ma, thanks for the support." He said grabbing Ashley's hand and pulling her out past Lorraine and then Clay and out the front door.

"You better think this over Jax, it could be the end to everything you've been working so hard for," Clay called out as the door shut behind them. Ashley didn't know what to say. She had been worried it would go bad, but it actually felt worse than what she had imagined.

"Come on Ash," Jax called to her, he was already on his bike ready to leave as her thoughts were trapping her in her place. She got on behind him and he sped off towards her house. When they got there he followed her inside and just stood there with his jaw clenched tightly. Ashley waited for him to say something. He had been so confident for her before.

"Jax," she started, actually reconsidering the whole idea.

"I have to go take care of something," he said turning around towards the front door.

"What?" she asked him confused. He just kept walking. "Jax, wait." She ran up to him and wedged herself between him and the door.

He just looked down at her and then back up when they made eye contact. She could see something different in his eyes. Something a little scary, distant.

"Where are you going?" He just stared at her expressionless. "Jax, what are you going to do?"

"I just need to clear my head. Don't worry."

"Why, are you reconsidering this?" Once again he just stared blankly. "Jax…" She sighed with defeat. He had been so confident for her before when she was freaking out and now it seemed Gemma had really rattled him. Who'd have thought that she had that much power over him.

"Alright fine but Jax," she said holding his face and turning his eyes towards hers, "They'll get over it remember? Don't let her get in your head like this. If you're not ready I'm ok with that, but I don't want Gemma, Lorraine or Clay making that decision for me. I love you and I will wait for you until you're sure." She stretched herself as high as she could on her tippy toes, it was really hard to make her point when he was so much bigger than her. She pressed her lips firmly against his and waited for him to respond to her. But when he didn't she just gave up. Maybe it was best to give him some space to think things over.

He turned and walked out the door. She went to her room and collapsed on her bed, maybe she really wasn't his glue, she thought as she stared up a the ceiling.

Of all the things she had been worried about tonight, this was not one of them. This was the last thing she had imagined. A tear made a trail down the side of her cheek before dropping to her neck, catching her by surprise.


	7. Chapter 7

******Ugh sorry for the delay updating! Crazy crazy life lol and I have been in major withdrawals not writing...hope you enjoy and I have a few chapters written so I can update soon!*****

A few days had passed and Jax had still not called Ashley. He felt bad but he had so much to think about. He had gone for a long ride that night in an effort to clear his head. He thought about going back to his house and confronting Clay and Gemma. But he knew that would only end badly since he was so pissed off.

The next day Clay had them going up north on a run making him virtually unreachable. At first he was angry but as time passed he welcomed the chance to put a little distance from his relationship with Ashley so that he could see clearly what he wanted. Of course his head needed to be in it when he was working but when they were riding he would start to zone out and think about her. He knew he hurt her by leaving and he felt bad about it.

Things hadn't gone as planned on the run also. They believed the Mayans had stolen some of their guns from a warehouse up north. Today Clay wanted them to go and execute some justice to get their merchandise back. And by execute, he meant meeting Juan Suarez, a Mayan they believed orchestrated the theft, at his home and not on his terms. Jax knew this wasn't going to go well. He had so much on his mind but had to stay focused to prove to Clay that Ashley wasn't a distraction. He pushed his lips together as they pulled in front of Suarez's house. _Let's do this._

Ashley had spent the last three days waiting for Jax to call her. It was torture. Every time the phone rang. Every moment that passed….she was trying to give him space but enough already.

She had also gone on an interview for a secretary position in a family doctor's office in town and thought it went really well. Again she was playing the waiting game. Her nerves couldn't take much more of this.

_I'm just going to go down there…enough is enough…_Ashley knew Jax was the one for her. He was always there for her, knowing how to handle her, how to take care of her. He had proven himself to her when she had fought her feelings for him for so long. She knew they should be together and she knew that he knew it too. Screw everyone else.

She pulled into the Teller-Morrow parking lot and noticed it was pretty empty except for a few of the mechanics lingering in the shop. She frowned to herself, thinking she might have to go into the clubhouse that she despised. She covered her eyes and squinted, hoping she could see someone familiar lurking outside to ask.

"Looking for someone?"

Ugh, Gemma, her timing was impeccable. "I'm looking for Jax, have you seen him?" Ashley asked preparing for the worst.

"He's out on a run." She stated, her hands on her hips and a smirk on her face.

Ashley studied her face, Gemma looked ready to pounce.

"What's the matter sweetheart? Hasn't he called?"

Ignoring her Ashley kept pushing forward, "Do you know when he's coming back?"

"I really can't be sure, last I talked to them they were stopping at another charter's clubhouse for some beer and pussy. Pretty sure that's where they stayed the past two days."

She was really pissing Ashley off. She tried to think of how to best handle this situation.

"Oh don't look so sad, this is what club life is all about. You have to accept it if you want to be with him."

Ashley stepped up close to Gemma, "I know what you're doing and I'm not going anywhere."

Gemma just glared back, Ashley thought she saw a flicker of anger in her eyes which surprised her just a little. She decided to continue. "There's nothing you can do or say that's going to change that. Actually, the more you try to push me away, the more I want to be with him."

"You and every other female in this town." She answered with the smirk coming back to her lips.

"When he gets back, I'm going to get his crow. And when he's president, where does that leave _you_ Gemma?" Ashley regretted saying that as soon as it left her lips. She knew she had crossed the line. But she couldn't show her weakness to Gemma, who just stood there temporarily stunned. Ashley took advantage of the moment of confusion and glared at Gemma before getting in her car and leaving. As she turned out of the parking lot her hands started to shake, knowing she was a dead woman. _You stood up to her, you're not weak._ She reminded herself as she tried to regain her composure.

The ride back to Charming was one of the longest Jax could ever remember. There was so much weighing heavily on his mind. He couldn't wait to get back and drink himself stupid, to drown what had happened today from his mind. Clay was pushing him hard, but Jax had a suspicion that he was also trying to manipulate him.

They had gone to Suarez's to get their guns back. Jax knew the chances of that going smoothly were nothing above zero. He also knew Clay wanted Suarez to pay and Jax was on board with that. What he wasn't in agreement with was what happened after Suarez was killed. The Mexican grandmother type that didn't speak a word of English. She was around sixty, short with big brown eyes. He shook his head trying to fling the image of her face from his mind. She begged them not to hurt her when they heard her crying from the other room. Clay said she was a witness. He reminded Clay that they didn't kill women. But Clay needed to prove he was in charge and that Jax wasn't ready to be. It was in the club's best interest, he said. And that was that.

It was Friday night and Ashley knew it was the best possibility that Jax was back at the clubhouse. He still hadn't called her and she tried not to let that upset her. She had practiced her speech in her head over and over, knowing she wouldn't leave any room for protest. She waited until it was late, one because chances were they would be partying and happier, and two because it would be dark and she would not be spotted as quickly as last time.

At eleven she couldn't wait anymore and hopped in her car. When she pulled into the parking lot she was happy to notice there was tons of activity. It certainly appeared they were back. She got out of her car and walked towards the clubhouse. She noticed Bobby outside smoking with some woman and she nodded him a hello.

"Hello darlin," Bobby said nodding her way.

"Hey Bobby."

She opened the doors and stepped inside, pushing her way through the loose crowd of people, her eyes scanning over them for Jax. She spotted him sitting at the bar with a beer to his mouth, staring into space, seemingly deep in thought. But upon further inspection, glancing to his left she noticed a crow eater talking in his ear and getting too close in her opinion. She walked over to him and slid herself in front of the woman, her back to the skank and her front to Jax's side. Jax was mid-sip and if she didn't know any better she thought she heard him choke a little.

"I need to talk to you."

"Ex-cuuuse me, do you mind, we were having a conversation here," the bitch had the nerve to say to her.

"Actually I do mind, go bother someone else." Ashley responded, barely glancing over her shoulder, not in the mood for some drunk whore wanting a piece of her man. She noticed Jax had put his beer down and was watching her intently. She turned to get back to what she had originally came here for.

"Well aren't you some stuck up bitch…." the skank started again with Ashley, causing her to turn and glare at her, getting up close to her face. Ashley surprising even herself.

"Listen closely, because I am only going to say this one time," she began, talking slowly so the idiot would understand clearly, "Get the fuck away from Jax, and if you even try to lay a finger on him, I will make sure you lose function in it permanently."

"Whatever, bitch." She said walking away.

Ashley sighed with annoyance and turned again to Jax whose eyebrows were raised in surprise.

"I need to talk to you Jax."

"OK, talk," he answered, his tone not the normal caring one she was used to.

"Are you drunk?" she asked him.

"Not yet."

"Can we talk in private please?" She watched him as he clenched his jaw, obviously not happy with her interfering with his plans of drinking into oblivion. He stood up and grabbed his beer.

"Sure," he said walking to his dorm room.

Ashley tried to pull herself back together. He was shaking her confidence with his strange demeanor and she couldn't remember any part of the speech she had planned to deliver to him. She followed him into his room and he sat on the bed.

"So you haven't called or anything," she started, cringing at how that came out, she hadn't wanted to say that.

"I've been busy, sorry."

"The way we left things…I wanted to give you your space, but I didn't think you would just take it completely."

He sat still on the bed, almost looking like he wanted to go to sleep. _Maybe he was drunk, maybe she was wasting her breath. _Ashley tried to figure out what she was going to say next, everything had escaped her.

"You looked really hot yelling at that woman." Jax grabbed her attention smirking from the bed.

"What? I didn't yell at her."

"It turned me on."

"Did you hear anything I just said?" Ashley asked, getting annoyed at the mood he was in. Jax put his beer on the floor and stood up, taking off his shirt and sitting back down on the edge of the bed. Ashley looked away, knowing he was trying to distract her.

"Come here."

"No Jax, I'm trying to talk to you."

"Come here, let's talk." Ashley glanced quickly at him and instantly regretted it. He looked so good but she knew that she needed to get this off her chest before she let anything happen. She decided to stare at the wall and speak her mind.

"I came here to tell you that I'm not giving you any more space."

"That sounds good." He replied, she could hear from the direction of his voice that he had stood up and was walking over to her. "I don't want space between us," he said grabbing around her and pulling her into him, kissing her on her neck.

"Jax I'm serious. Let me say what I came here to say."

He kissed up her neck to her ear, "I felt bad that I didn't call you." He whispered as he kissed it. She shivered, trying to collect her thoughts. She couldn't let him off that easy.

"What did you need space for anyway? We are supposed to be together, you were the one who told _me_ that. So get your shit together and be with me." He pulled away from her and looked her in the eyes.

"Who are you?" he said amused.

"I'm serious. Enough of the bullshit. You said yourself screw whatever anyone thinks."

"Ha," he huffed and turned and sat back down on the bed. "I care about the club too Ash."

"Yeah? So? What does that mean? I'm not stopping you from being in the club. I'm not asking you to choose between us."

"It's more complicated than that."

"It's not complicated at all. It's very simple, remember?"

He looked up at her then and she knew he remembered. She knew he got her point. But she could also tell there was something else bothering him.

"Do you still love me?" She knew the answer but she decided some guilt might make him spill a little more.

"Ugh," he said unbelievably to Ashley. He lay back on the bed and wiped his hands over his face. "Can you please just come here?" he asked swatting the bed with one hand. Ashley decided it was time to give in a little if she wanted him to give something back. She went over to the bed and lay down next to him, keeping some distance between them.

"I had a crazy day." He said glancing over at her, his hands folded across his stomach. She could tell he wasn't going to say more than that, but she thought she saw sadness in his eyes before he turned them back towards the ceiling.

"Are you OK?" she asked.

"Yeah." He turned towards her and pulled her into him. "Of course I love you."

She smiled and his lips were only millimeters from hers. Every fiber of her being wanted to kiss him, missing how it felt. "So we're good?" she asked.

"We're good," he answered before rolling on top of her and kissing her with intention, finding a new way to drown out his day and proving to her that he was still in this with her.


End file.
